Friday, May 2, 2014

No true endings...




The oxygen pump pulses in and out...
The hospital bed takes center stage where her favorite chair was...
The open window lets the musical tingling of her cherished wind chimes fill the air.

I sit in the living room wishing there was more I could do. 
Wishing I could take the pain away. 
Wishing I could give her back her voice.
Aching for her.
Aching for him.


As I read what a friend wrote as he dealt with a loss such as I am facing, I found his words described so perfectly what I am feeling now...

I do not know how much longer my mother will remain on this side of the veil. Even though I believe that this life is not the end...that my mom will be welcomed home with outspread arms...that we will be together again as a family after this life...I cannot help but wonder why it must be this way. I cannot say I understand why she has been asked to pass through this trial. I only know that I have to have faith that the Lord who sees the end from the beginning has a purpose for this. 

I cling to the idea that...
"...We are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny...Endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful...In His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.” - Dieter F. Uchtdorf


...Only everlasting beginnings...

What a promise...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Clinging...



Clinging…
Struggling to hold on…
Fingers slipping…
Grasping for something…
Finding…

Empty space…

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Will we forget?


There is a powerful song that appears as one of the very last tracks on the anniversary edition of Michael McLean's "The Forgotten Carols." It is a track that's easy to overlook if you stop after the more familiar songs. I'm glad I took the time to listen because its message touched me deeply.

 Perhaps one of the reasons it hit me with such power is that it addresses a failing I see in myself far too quickly it seems after the Christmas holiday ends - the tendency to forget the reason and the spirit of this blessed season.

 It isn't a conscious choice to forget. I have every intention to remember the baby in the manger who became the resurrected Savior of us all. Yet life goes on and as it does it becomes so easy for the miracle of that marvelous event to be buried beneath the burdens of every day life, drowned out by the cacophony of the world around us.

There's a line in the song that captures this so perfectly:
 "We'll have a hundred reasons why we have set aside 
The memories of this season when His spirit touched our lives."

 Yet even in the next line we are given a powerful reminder that even though we may forget Him for a moment that:
 "... He who came to save us for all eternity
Has not forgotten those who need His mercy to be free.
And though that number's greater than the sands upon the sea
 There is no time of year that He's forgotten you or me."

What a powerful reminder!

If you have time, I hope you'll take a moment to listen.

Perhaps we can all help each other remember the spirit of this season all year round.
Merry Christmas, my friends...wherever you are.





"Will We Forget?"
Michael McLean
The Forgotten Carols

A heart that's been closed may be opening tonight.
A soul that's been lost might believe it's been found.
But six months from now on a warm summer night,
Will we pause to remember this night in December
When we promised ourselves we'd keep this spirit all year round?
Will we forget the promise we resolutely made?
Will we forget to thank the Lord for all the gifts he gave?
We'll say it's human nature, but something seems amiss
When there is just one time of year reserved for nights like this.

And six months from now on a warm summer night,
Will any part of us remember this night in December
When we promised ourselves we'd keep this spirit all year round?
Will we forget the feelings, will we forget to sing?
Will we forget the Christ child came to give us everything?
We'll have a hundred reasons why we have set aside
These memories of this season when His spirit touched our lives.
But He who came to save us for all eternity
Has not forgotten those who need His mercy to be free.
And though that number's greater than the sands upon the sea
There is no time of year that He's forgotten you or me.

He has not forgotten us on any lonely night.
And He has not forgotten that our joy requires His light.
He has not forgotten those who are homeless as was He.
And He has not forgotten you; He's not forgotten me.




Sunday, October 27, 2013

You only live once...


YOLO...

You only live once...

Usually that phrase is synonymous with actions that those speaking it would like to have excused. After all, if you only live once, then what does it matter the kind of actions you take? Something along the lines of "eat, drink, and be merry..."

Lately, however, I've been thinking of those words in another context. Like the ebb and flow of a river our lives constantly change from one moment of time to the next and we never know what exactly may be coming around the next bend or where the current may take us.

I think of a friend who is struggling with cancer and who has stared mortality in the face more than once especially recently.

My thoughts turn to another friend who, by the grace of God and the wonder of modern medical technology has survived numerous surgeries to try to give her back the life she had before tragic mistakes were made that nearly cost her her life and her family their wife and mother.

I ponder the passing of another friend who lost a battle with a debilitating disease that caused him to leave this world far too soon without ever knowing how much he would be truly missed.

Others I know have lost spouses, children, siblings, parents, and friends or have faced trials both seen and unseen that we may never know the full extent of. We are all on this "mortal coil" for a limited amount of time. What will we do with the time we have been given?

Will we spend our time chasing things of little value or will we take the time to treasure what we have? Will we share ourselves, our time, our talents with others and be a little more courageous or will we hold back out of fear or the chance of rejection? Will we be a little kinder, a little more patient, a little less judgmental even of ourselves? What will we do with our one life?

I don't know the answer to these questions for myself and I won't presume to guess the answer for others. All I know is that because I only have this one chance on the earth I need to try to make it the best that I can and do what I can to help others make their one life the best it can be as well.

 If we only live once we better live our lives well, hopefully making the world a little better than it would have been without us...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Unsettled...


Life strikes out
Pummeling my resistance
Unsettling my world
Leaving questions
Unanswered

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Bloglovin

So... in order to give my legions (ha ha) of readers an opportunity to follow me in another format since Google Reader is disappearing, I've set up an account with Bloglovin. If you follow more than one of my blogs you'll probably see this post again since in order to "claim" my blog I need to create a post. Bear with me... :) I figure giving people options is good, right? :)

If you want to follow using Bloglovin click on the link below. :)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 And thanks for reading...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

A road less traveled...

It has been said that the less traveled, long, and sometimes lonely roads make all the difference in life... 

I've found that is true...

I took a drive the other day and found myself on a deserted highway. 


 There was a time when this road was filled with cars traveling to far flung destinations. Journeys with a thousand stories attached to them. Then the winds of change and the ever turning wheels of progress decided that this pathway had fulfilled it's purpose. No longer would it carry the load of passing travelers. 


Now it sees only the few who are willing to venture off the beaten path, along the backroads and byways.
  

 I did not know where this road led. I simply followed it's worn path... 


Still, I knew no matter how filled with ruts and rocks it was, like all roads eventually it would lead me to it's destination. As I drove the dusty trail I thought how, at times, life is like this forgotten path. 
Sometimes we are taken down roads that seem to be filled with potholes and pitfalls. There are detours placed in our path and we wonder if we will ever find our way back. 
 Sometimes along our way we lose friends and loved ones and wish that we did not all have to travel this long road... And yet we do... 


Still...if we're lucky - along with the challenges and losses we may face along the way - we also gain new friends and loved ones - not to replace the old, for that is impossible - but to add more richness and depth to our journey. With our experiences we may also find courage and talents we never knew we had. Things we might never have known if it hadn't been for the pathway we were on. 

So,
I am grateful I took this less traveled road... 
grateful for the lessons it brought to mind...
grateful, in a way, for the twists and turns of my own life's journey...

As I was writing this post I found this song that captured much of what I felt as I drove along the long forgotten road... 


Long Road
   -Pearl Jam

And I wished for so long...
I cannot stay
All the precious moments...
Cannot stay
It's not like wings have fallen...
I cannot say
Without you something is missing...
I cannot say

Holding hands of daughters and sons
In their phase they're falling down
Down, down, down

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you again

We all walk the long road
I cannot stay
There's no need to say goodbye

Oh, the friends and family...
All the memories going round
Round, round round...

I have wished for so long...
How I wished for you today

And the wind keeps rollin'
And the sky keeps turning grey
And the sun is setting
The sun will rise another day

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today
Will I walk the long road?
We all walk the long road